he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
