i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
