Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
