its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
