butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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