I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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