Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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