I wish i was in the wii world.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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