the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
