My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
