Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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