I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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