I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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