I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I need to align my fucking chakras
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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