just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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