i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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