Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
