Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
