3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
