I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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