i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
