i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
