So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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