You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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