What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
