Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
