The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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