If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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