I think my vagina is haunted
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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