The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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