I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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