I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
