Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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