Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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