im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dick very happy bro
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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