ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We left the knife in your bed.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
