i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
