My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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