Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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