Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
