I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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