Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
