so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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