Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize