already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
