Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
