Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
