AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
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As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin