Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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