I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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