She said her name was "party"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
