Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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