But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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