At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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