That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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