I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
