the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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