Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
