U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
