Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
