I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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