i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i've created a new STD.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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