Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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