The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
